Cultivating Love

The Flow and Purpose of the Marriage 03

In our last discussion of the flow of Adam and Eve’s marriage we focused on how people are drawn together by the Spirit of love. It was God who brought Adam and Eve together. For believers this drawing is also by the Spirit leading to a committed union with Christ in baptism. Yet this is far from something robotic or unnatural, on the contrary it is quite a joyous experience! Today we want to talk about the flip side of this drawing, namely the process it takes in our lives.

In Genesis 2 when Adam and Eve are brought together by God we see Adam rejoicing (vs23) singing the first love song.

“This at last is bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called Woman,
because she was taken out of Man.”

It is no surprise that most of our songs we hear today are about love. Man’s first encounter with a woman turns him from a simple gardener into a poet. It is after this we are told ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh’ (vs24).

We have themes of rejoicing and separation leading to committed union and communion.

When we look at later stories we will see similar themes. In Genesis 24 when Rebekah is found it causes great rejoicing in the servant. Rebekah separates from her family and begins walking towards union with Isaac. Later in Ruth, news of Boaz and Ruth’s meeting brings joy to Naomi, Boaz himself, and the people of the town, all of whom pronounce blessings. Naomi responds to the news and begins the process of leading Ruth to Boaz, and Boaz responds by beginning the process of redeeming Ruth leading to their marriage in chapter 4.

When we think about the drawing of the Spirit in the lives of Believers to Christ it is similarily a process. Knowledge of Christ’s love and forgiveness fills believer’s with faith and joy. Separation with the world begins (repentance) and this movement of rejoicing in Christ and repentance leads the believer to a committed union in Baptism.

This process of rejoicing in the other, separation/repentance, leading to a committed union is the flow of love. Ultimately it is leading to a place of mutual self-giving within the committed union. If you have fallen in love understand this is where it is leading. Over the past five years at the high school I teach at in Japan I asked my students what the purpose of dating is for. The vast majority of them will respond by saying ‘fun’. Year by year it has been the same. With over 200 students per year only about 3 or 4 of them will say ‘for marriage’. A flow without direction becomes stagnate. If you have fallen in love and have no desire to marry the other or join yourself to Christ in baptism something is terribly wrong. Love is whithering and the drawing is ceasing. How can we cultivate love? Jesus will tell the Church of Ephesus ‘But I have this against you, that you have abandoned the love you had at first. Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent, and do the works you did at first…’ (Rev 2:4-5a). Go back to the works at the first. For those married or in a relationship that is stalled out the answer is simple. Begin rejoicing in the other person again. Guys write poety. If hurts have arisen then confess and repent. Separate yourself unto the other, plan and make time available just for them again. For a believer return to the joy of your salvation, rejoice in the Gospel again. Turn away from disobedience. Separate yourself unto Jesus again. Here a good and simple way to start would be to make Sunday worship a priority in your life again.

We could fill these things out in a bit more detail but enough has been said. Let us hear Jesus’ call and cultivate love through returning to the works we did at the first. May the Spirit draw us ever close to Christ and each other.